The following article was printed in the St. Louis Review, the weekly Catholic newspaper of the Archdiocese of St. Louis, MO on July 28, 2000. It is reprinted here with permission.
By: Jean M. Schildz
Review Staff Writer
In this day and age of "just do it," why do youths choose chastity? Heather Gallagher, REAP Team chastity educator, offers two of many reasons that help convince youth that chastity is right for them.
Her presentation addresses the fact that chastity allows you to have sex, but at the proper time. This can be comforting to those who know sex is good and may be tired of hearing "don't do it" without further explanation, she said. It's important youth know that sex is a gift from God, Gallagher said. In her presentations, she tells listeners, "I'm not going to sit here and tell you don't do it, but I'm going to explain to you how wonderful it is and how awesome it is within the bonds of marriage. There's a time and a place for everything, including sex. If you choose married life, "you should have sex, the Church wants you to," she said.
Secondly, because chastity is 'a lifelong lifestyle,' it applies to everyone, from religious to married to singles. Gallagher asks youths to look at marriages where couples have remained faithful and at those where they have not. "What kind of destruction happens to that family and the love and the bond of that particular unit when this happens?" she asks. "And they all think, 'Oh, that's terrible. My family went through it, or someone I know went through it, and that's terrible.'"
Because people desire a marriage partner who will be true to them throughout their lives together, Gallagher reminds her listeners this kind of behavior doesn't happen overnight. "If you don't start chastity now, why in the world do you think you're going to have this all-of-a-sudden virtue happen? Because there's a wedding ring on your finger and you walk down an aisle? You need to start training now so you can truly live out that gift from this point through your marriage and all of your life. I think a lot of young people just think chastity will come when I get married, when that rings gets on my finger, then I'll learn how to be faithful, then I'll learn how to respect sex enough, but that respect has to start now."
The following are short excerpts from statements REAP Team youths have written on why they have chosen chastity as a lifelong lifestyle. Click on the REAP Team web site (www.reapteam.org) to read the full testimonials of these team members and more:
"I believe that you only get one gift of virginity and that's it—once it's gone, it's gone forever. I want to be able to say to my wife on our wedding night that 'I hadn't even known you, but I loved you so much that I saved this for you,' and I can't wait to see the reaction on her face when I tell her this." —Christopher
"Chastity is also a sign of love and respect. It shows love for God by following his commandment. It shows love and respect for a person's future spouse by waiting to share the special bond of sex with only them. Making the commitment to stay chaste before marriage proves that someone can be trusted to be faithful after marriage. Finally, chastity is a sign of love and respect for yourself, the temple God created." —Erin
"There are several things that we thought were true, but aren't. 1) It's OK if you're really in love. Who knows? You may end up marrying the person. Every action you take brings consequences; sex is no exception. Many couples after they've slept together realize that there isn't anything left to discover and break up... True love doesn't mean that you sleep together—it means that you want the absolute best for a person." —Jen
The key thing that I am saying, and what I've done in my own life is to not put myself in those tempting situations. I have been dating my girlfriend for over one-and-one-half years now, and I care for her very much. What we did was to set certain limits; we don't want to give into any temptations that might arise. I truly believe that because we have done this, our relationship has become stronger." —Dan