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How do I know if he likes me?

How do I know if he likes me?

It’s not easy to distinguish between a friendly guy and a guy who’s interested in more than a friendship. Here are a couple things to look for…

Dear Heather,
I like this boy in my class only I am afraid if I tell him he will not like me back.
—Worried

Dear Worried,

It’s probably not a good idea to say anything – you might feel silly and be much more hurt in the long run. Even though I’m all for being women of strength and confidence, I still think there’s something powerful and natural in a guy initiating and a woman responding. Besides, it’s an honor to be pursued. As a girl, I always think it’s best to try to give a guy clues that you might like him, but let him make the first move. Saying that you like him is a scary thing and it’s not even necessary if he likes you. Here are some things to consider that might help you figure out if he likes you…

  1. Does he talk to you longer or more frequently than the other girls in the class? This could clearly indicate romantic interest, or even that he just wants to be better friend with you; both are good! I actually think that a good friendship is the best starting point for any romantic relationship, by the way.
  2. Does he look at you differently than the other girls in the class? I am not referring to the ‘up and down’ look that guys sometimes give us women, which is quite disrespectful. Rather, I am talking about whether he looks more deeply into your eyes than he might look at other girls?
  3. Has he made any effort to do anything special with or for you? This might include things like complimenting how you look, trying to walk to class with you, or writing notes to you.

If the answer is yes to these questions, then it might be safe to make some more obvious hints to him that you like him back. He might be shy in making the first move – but still stick to obvious hints. However, if the answer is no to those questions, then I encourage you to lay low and not worry about this chap. If he doesn’t give you extra attention, it’s a pretty safe bet that he won’t like you back and it’ll hurt more to hear him say it than to just assume it in your mind. Too many young men and women confuse a friendly person for romantic interest. That’s why it’s good to see how this person treats other members of the opposite sex. If he’s nice to many people, you might have mistaken his friendliness with romantic interest. If I like a guy, but he hasn’t given me a clear indication that he likes me, I try to spend some time getting to know him better as a friend. Besides, (as I mentioned earlier), a friendship is the best foundation for a relationship and should be your focus if you’re a young teen. Don’t stress about jumping into a romantic relationship until you’re closer to marrying age. In the meantime, have fun as friends and enjoy the guy friendships in your life.

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