Liz’s Second Chance
Liz was shocked by what her boyfriend told her years after she got a second chance for chastity. Although she had mistakes in her past, his comment revealed the truth of God’s transforming power.
I find chastity to be an extremely important message for all of us. It’s a part of our call to holiness, which we as Catholics believe is for everyone, not just a chosen few.
After reading some of our thoughts on the topic of chastity, some of you may be wondering, “What about me? I’ve already blown it, made mistakes. How can I go back to a state of purity? Does all this even apply to me?”
YOU BET IT DOES! To any of you who desire to be restored and made whole again after making such mistakes, I say that God has very special gifts waiting for you. His gifts of Mercy and Forgiveness are meant for you! I firmly believe it is possible for you to have a change of heart, and to choose a change of lifestyle.
If we return to God, humbly seeking Him, and choosing His will for out lives, He is always ready, as a loving Father, to take us back. And when we receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation, His gifts of Mercy and Forgiveness are poured out in abundance.
BUT, THERE’S MORE!
There’s another gift that God has for you. It’s a very real gift I’ve received myself. It’s called “Secondary Virginity.” That means that beyond forgiving my sins, God has restored my purity. I can tell the difference in myself, but this gift of secondary virginity has been evident to others as well.
A few years ago, I was dating a guy, and we had the most chaste relationship I’ve ever had. We had discussed our boundaries, and set limits on our expressions of affection. We prayed together and asked for God’s help in the area of purity, and He was faithful to us. Anyway, we were at a stage of the relationship where we were growing in intimacy emotionally and spiritually and we were talking one day…
I made a comment to him about my high school days being a time of experimentation and that I had made some bad choices. He took the opportunity to ask me quite directly, “So, are you a virgin?” I answered him truthfully, but somewhat sadly, “No, I’m not.”
I don’t think I’ll ever forget what he said next. I had just made myself so very vulnerable to him, and his response was, “So, it’s true.”
Inside, I was horrified and humiliated. Had people been telling him things about my past?! I asked him what he meant, and then he explained, “It’s true, then. The gift of secondary virginity is real! God can restore a person’s purity!” He went on to tell me that he saw me as the most beautiful, holy, spotless, and pure woman of God that he’d ever known, and that if I had a past that included anything impure, that God had truly healed and restored me.
So yes, it is true. I’ve been healed and made whole (and holy) again. I’ve been given a new heart and a second chance. God has granted me the beautiful gifts of His Mercy, Forgiveness, and Secondary Virginity. For almost 10 years now I’ve been striving to live chastity. Prior to that time, I desired to live my Catholic faith, but it was at age 22 that I went through a rough time in my life, and I made a conscious choice to cling to my faith with everything I had. It started with an interior decision to bring every aspect of my life under the Lordship of Jesus Christ. I began making positive choices, like I started reading the Bible. Then I got up the courage to go to Confession. They seemed like small steps to take, but they were so essential to beginning anew. I honestly didn’t realize how far I’d come, how much God had healed and changed me, until that day a few years ago when my (then) boyfriend pointed it out to me so beautifully.
Continuing to live chastity certainly has its challenges. I still battle regularly with my desires and my imagination. I still have to be careful to make positive choices about what I am willing to expose myself to. Certain movies, TV shows, books, magazines, or songs on the radio might be very enjoyable, but if the content brings me face-to-face with temptation, then I’ve decided those things are not worth my time. I’ve been given a second chance and I don’t want any part of anything that could cause me to cross that line again. And it is truly difficult to turn off a favorite TV program because the scene is getting too steamy or explicit, but it’s my goal to do that, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m so much happier about myself, and so much more at peace with God.
“If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has gone away; Behold the new has come!” — 2 Cor 5:17