Sex is a natural desire, right?
Of course sex is a natural, human desire, and it is meant to be VERY good and fulfilling. Contrary to popular belief, our awesome Creator is not a kill-joy. If God just wanted to ruin all our fun, the Bible would include the following commandments…11. Thou Shall Not White Water Raft; 12. Thou Shall Not Bungee Jump; 13. Thou Shall Never Ride a Roller Coaster. You see, God doesn’t want to ruin our fun; he actually wants to increase our joy. He knows that sex is pleasurable, and can be very fun. Remember, He created it. He could have made sex dull and boring, but He didn’t. And, God did not create sex to be good for some people and bad for others…He wants it to be good for everyone!
So, you might be asking, “Why did God create such a fun and pleasurable thing as sex only to deny us from having it before marriage—if it is so good, why can’t we do it all the time?” Good question. Sex is like any other human desire or function…there is a clear purpose and an appropriate time to do it. Eating is an excellent example. God wants us to eat for nourishment, and He loves it when we enjoy the food we are eating. But that doesn’t mean that we can eat anything at anytime we wish. If you’re a door-to-door salesperson that happens to be hungry, and you smell warm cinnamon rolls baking in the oven of a client…would you really burst into someone’s kitchen, open the oven, pull out the rolls and just eat them without asking? I certainly hope not. They weren’t yours to take (the lady was cooking the batch for the church bake sale) and you’ll most likely get burned. An animal might act in such a fashion (if they could open an over door), but we certainly are not animals. Just because sex is a human desire, like eating, does not mean, you can do it anytime, anyplace, or with whomever you please.
For everything that is created, there is a purpose. But, as humans, we have free will, and can twist God’s natural intentions into something that we believe will provide us more pleasure. If you’d like to try shoving cinnamon rolls up your nose for nourishment, go for it! God won’t send teams of “Eating Patrol Angels” down to stop you. The same is true with sex. If you’d like to do with sex whatever you please, you certainly can do so. However, you have to understand that there are consequences. No matter how good you believe your reasons to be for twisting God’s plan, we cannot avoid natural consequences. (It’s probably going to hurt to have cinnamon rolls, maybe with raisins, stuck up your nose.) Just like taking the cinnamon rolls from the lady’s oven—you will most likely get burned.
The purpose of sex (why God created it so good) is to unify two people for life and for procreation (making babies). The pleasure and intimacy that comes from sex is what unifies, or bonds, a man and a woman. This unification is meant to be permanent so that it could handle the other purpose of sex, an outcome of a baby. This unification is also meant to be a self-gift. When it is sincerely giving (not a self-loan for the time that I still like you), sex is beautiful, pleasurable and fulfilling—this type of bonding sustains marriages even through difficult times. Sex is the language of forever—I give all of myself to you forever. On your wedding day, you say the words before an audience, but on the honeymoon, you show your commitment with your body. It is a beautiful bond that allows a person to give themselves entirely to their spouse. So, it is actually NOT NATURAL for us to give all of ourselves to whoever we want along life’s path. Our bodies are actually lying when we have sex outside of marriage because our bodies are saying forever, but our minds know that we can leave this person at anytime, or they can leave us. If we train sex to be a lie, how can it possibly be a beautiful gift in marriage?
So, sure…sex is a natural human desire, and it is important to understand where it fits into the grand scheme of life. You can try to change what it is naturally intended to be for two people in marriage by taking it out of its context. However, dodging the severe emotional, spiritual and physical consequences might not be so easy.
To find out more on the consequences of sex outside of marriage, read What They Haven’t Told Me…The Hidden Traps of Sex Outside of Marriage.
By Heather Gallagher
The REAP Team